In Where to Start you found your opening lines and the voice of your profile. Now you need to write the first couple (or several) paragraphs. This  is the “About Me” or “In My Own Words” or “Self-Summary” section, and it’s your best chance to communicate your personality.

In this section you’ll want to write a bunch of stuff about yourself.  You’ll want to write about who you are, about what you like, and about who you might like to meet. You’ll want to write something that will tell your reader that you really are kind of great, and that maybe it would be nice to meet you.

But how? What sort of things should you include? How much should you  brag? How honest should you be about your negative qualities? Should you even mention that you would really love to get married within a year, or that you only want one-night-stands?  How do you go about saying any of this?

We’ll get into the nitty-gritty of what you should and shouldn’t say in other articles, and  go into a LOT of detail on the subtle strategies of profile writing. For example [magic bullets] will provide you with deadly ammunition, and [fatal flaws] will help you avoid catastrophic mistakes. At the end of this article we list the most common styles used–the types of things that are most often discussed in profiles. But really, you have one primary aim in the main section of your profile:

Give your reader a glimpse of the real you!

We’ve found that it’s possible to write very successful profiles that include very little specific information–almost no biographical details–but instead are rich with  persona: real windows into who we really are. If you can manage to provide such a glimpse (and we talk about how in great detail, here and elsewhere), then you already stand out from the crowd: a real live person in a sea of same-same. And that’s before you even start talking about how amazing you are.

The key to doing this is to use your voice in your profile. To sound like you! In your opening lines you found the tone; that is, you found which of your voices you want to communicate with. Is it your enthusiastic self? Your seductive self? Your relaxed, earnest, playful, dominant, witty, or dreamy selves? Now you want to talk to your reader in this voice. Again, this voice may shift as you make your way through your profile, but the important thing is that you remain yourself.

To do this, you will use some of the same tricks used in creating your opening lines. Now we don’t want you to write ten profiles and choose the best one. However brainstorming is still a good strategy. Talk to your reader, but don’t invest anything in the outcome. Talk about your life, you passions, your quirks, your desires. Offer anecdotes and lists of favorite things. Describe a hypothetical rendezvous, share your perfect Sunday. Get talking. But do this as yourself, with your voice. Feel free to ramble on.  Once you’ve written a bunch of stuff you’ll go back and edit it, trim bits that don’t work, and be inspired by the bits you liked and expand them.

This freeform approach is important because it stops you investing too much in anything you write. You’re just writing a bunch of stuff, any of which may or may not go into your profile in the end.  There’s nothing to inhibit you from really spilling your guts. Do this, and your personality will shine through. You’ll come up with some great material that sounds like you at your best, at your  most passionate, at your funniest. You’ll also come up with some material that sounds boring, cliched, negative, or self-absorbed.  That’s OK! You can get rid of it later. As you warm up, as you write without stressing too much about each line, your writing juices will get flowing and you’ll get  better and better at this.

Remember: online dating is a skill like any other, and your skill will improve with time and patience.

At this stage in the process there is no right or wrong.  However we will warn you against one mindset that will mess up this process: never try to win over your reader! Do not try to convince anyone that you’re a great person, or that you’d make a perfect  boy/girlfriend, or that you should meet up. Do not try to sell. If you do this you will seem needy, and worse, it will seem like you want something from your reader. Wrong! You are the one who has something great  to offer. If you try to pimp yourself too hard, it will seem like you don’t actually believe any of the things in your profile.  People can sense a salesman from a mile off, so don’t sell.

Instead, communicate as someone who already believes themselves to be pretty damn wonderful, and who doesn’t need to convince anyone else of the fact. Summon all the awesomeness you already have and believe it as you write. Trust us, with this attitude your wonderfulness will shine through. Even if you’re going for a sincere, heart-felt profile style, a little cockiness and self-confidence will make you much more attractive.

OK, so much for writing strategies. But what do you actually say? You’ll want to list off some of the things that make you such a great catch besides your winning personality. You’ll also want to let your  reader know what your looking for in a partner (or friend, or booty call). There are several ways to approach this. We identify six styles of profile. These styles are often best when mixed and matched with each other, but separately they represent the primary approaches to  profile writing.

We will go into a lot of detail on each style – stand by for upcoming articles.  But for now, just a summary of these profile styles:

The Autobiography

In this style, you talk about yourself through your past. You talk about where you came from, list your achievements, discuss significant events in your life, ultimately with a view to explaining how you ended up here, in this city, doing online dating.

The Self Portrait

Caring less about your past, you are instead more interested in talking about your current life. This style is a snapshot, a portrait, of the person you are and the life you lead right now. You talk about a range of likes and dislikes, you list the things you do for fun, describe your work, your favorite holiday destinations, your hobbies.

e-Therapy

Your reader is your therapist, and your computer chair is the psychologist’s couch. You lie back and psychoanalyze yourself for all the online world to see. You talk about your dreams and fears, you delve into your emotions, and most of all you do your very best to describe the type of person you are, and the type of partner you would be.

Dear Santa

In this style you communicate your personality by describing the qualities that you appreciate in others. You talk about your ideal match’s personality, likes and dislikes, passions and dreams, and even beliefs. You reveal yourself through the person you want to be with.

The Collage

In this style you offer a selection of intriguing glimpses into your life, your passions, your dreams, and your quirks. You don’t tell your life story, nor do you give a complete psychological profile. Instead you offer just enough random tid-bits–some fundamental, some minor–to pique interest and convey personality.

Once Upon a Time

In this style you don’t talk directly about your specific qualities, or even about the qualities you desire in others. Instead you offer a series of stories and anecdotes that convey these things. You pepper your tales with clues about your values, desires, history, and circumstances.

We’ve now talked about what to say and, more importantly, about how to say it. You should be in a position to get started on writing a really great profile. We would suggest you get on with it! There are many more articles that talk about the deeper details, the subtle  psychology, even the dirty tricks of this process. For now, get  some words down on a screen. You can always improve it later.

What are you waiting for?