You can portray your quirks in different ways. The simplest is to simply list quirky things about yourself. You can also pepper the more serious parts of your profile with off-hand descriptions of your idiosyncrasies. You can tell stories that reveal some of your adorable oddities in an amusing context. As long as you’re writing with your own voice, in a conversational tone, and having fun, your quirks should emerge naturally.

Even so, it can surprisingly difficult to even know what your own quirks are. If you’re having trouble thinking of them, your best bet is to ask somebody close to you. Ask your best friend or an ex-lover (or a current one). Ask a sibling, ask your mom.

Here are some of the things that you might think about:

Peculiar tastes: What’s the most embarrassing thing on your iPod? Your favorite gross-but-effective hangover breakfast? What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to trash fiction? Do you like road trips in thunderstorms? Desert before dinner?

Eccentric habits: Is it showtunes in the shower? Conversations with your house plants?  Do you twirl your hair when nervous around a cute guy, or bite your lip when a hot girl smiles at you?

Weird hobbies: From amateur astronomy to flamenco guitar to zeppelin-flying, we all have something that we like to geek out about. Don’t be shy.

Unusual possessions: Is your prize possession 1978 custom Ducati sports bike? Or is it your mint-condition Spiderman number-one? Does your collection of vinyl put the biggest music nerds to shame?

Strange skills: Are you really, really good at climbing trees? Are you a genius at Scrabble? Do you make the world’s best strawberry daiquiri? Can you touch the tip of your nose with your tongue?!  Seriously, we need to know.

Physical oddities: Do your eyes change color when you get mad? Got a tatt of Santa Maria de Guadalupe on your shoulder? Do you look like someone famous? Or infamous?

Bizarre anecdotes: Weird things happen. No doubt some of them have happened to you. Perhaps your parents are acrobats, or you were raised by beekeepers. Were you once kicked out of band camp? Mugged by an Elvis impersonator?

Quirky humor: This one you’ll need to work out for yourself, although you might find some tips [here]. Don’t go overboard, but do give your reader a teaser of your adorably dorky sense of humor.

Of course, there are some quirks that you really probably shouldn’t talk about in your profile. You’re going to have to use your judgment on this, but as a general rule anything that’s distinctly negative can probably be skipped. You don’t need to discuss your skin condition, your diaper fetish (unless it’s that sort of site), or the fact that you tend to scream the name of your high school sweetheart during sex. Have a little common sense, and if in doubt, ask someone!

“One of my Yale professors once told me that I have Audrey Hepburn eyes. Sleezy, huh? For some reason I still really liked that old guy In the summer he’d teach class outside. That’s why I’m so good at corporate law and macroeconomic theory–I learned it sitting under a pretty tree!”

“I love travel. I’ve been to almost every continent (Africa, here I come!) Sad thing is I’m terrified of flying ”

At some point in your profile you’re going to need to talk about yourself. Most people find this difficult, and that’s understandable. How do you talk about all your great qualities without seeming arrogant? How do you list your accomplishments without it looking like a CV? Of course you want to communicate some of your desirable qualities, but there are many ways to do it without sounding like you’re at a job interview. Let’s take a look at some options…

One of my Yale professors once told me that I have Audrey Hepburn eyes. Sleezy, huh? For some reason I still really liked that old guy. In the summer he’d teach class outside. That’s why I’m so good at corporate law and macroeconomic theory–I learned it sitting under a pretty tree

My favorite way to spend a weekend is to grab some friends after work on Friday (you if you’re lucky), and jump in my car. I have this little place in the Hamptons. It’s kind of run down, but that’s OK because we’ll spend most of the time sailing anyway. Sound good?

I’m an Ivy League valedictorian, but I learned everything I need to know from Family Guy. Stewie is my sensei.

I can cook a dahl that has made people shed tears of joy. Or was it pain? I use a lot of chilli. Yum.

I’ve been told I look like Cameron Diaz. I’ve also been told I look like Lisa Simpson. Go figure.

I love travel. I’ve been to almost every continent (Africa, here I come!) Sad thing is I’m terrified of flying

Yeah, I topped my class at Yale and earn buckets of money on Wall St, but am I happy?? … Hell yeah! But it’s because I actually *love* my job–who knew finance could be such a riot?–but much more importantly I love my family and friends: they keep me humble (sort of).

I’m whip-smart, hilarious, a karaoke god, and can drink you under the table any day of the week. But the most important thing is that I’ll always, always get your drunken, comatose home safe, and you’ll wake up in the morning with a big smile on your face … after you try my famous three-cheese omelet.

The flip side of this is that you really do need to have a sense of humor. We can’t tell you how, and we can’t make you funny. Happily most people are capable of illiciting a laugh or two, at least now and then. We’re going to assume that you qualify as “most people”. However, even if you’re the class clown or the life of the party, you need to be a little careful when you try to translate this comic genius online.  A lot of things that work in “real life” fail miserably,  even disastrously, in text. We’re going to discuss the two main dangers in trying to be funny online: overdoing it, and poor translation. 

Overdoing it: This is a very common error. If you try too hard to be funny then you’ll come across as… well, try-hard. You’ll also sound fake. There’s a fine line between “This person is funny!” and “This person thinks they’re funny.” Just remember, not every sentence in your profile needs to send your reader into hysterics. If you make your reader laugh a few times that’s great, but you also need to connect with this person on other levels. If they come away from your profile knowing that you are freakin’ hilarious, but absolutely nothing else about you, then maybe they’ll hire you for their kid’s birthday party, but don’t count on getting any action after.

Poor translation: some things just don’t work in text format. Without the benefit of the accompanying facial expressions, tonality, and timing, things that are hilarious when told live fall flat in text. Worse, they can be misinterpreted with fatal consequences.

The worst culprit is sarcasm. This form of humor is dangerous enough when backed up with the full force of your subtle comic presense, let alone as a string of ASCII characters. What may be intended as a playful jibe or flirtatious tease can come across as arrogant and insulting.

This is not to say that you should avoid sarcasm altogether. On the contrary: if you have a sarcastic sense of humor then by all means convey it, even at the risk of alienating those not clever (or thick-skinned) enough to handle your teases. There’s nothing wrong with a little filtering. However you still need to be careful. Understand  that your reader can’t see your raised eyebrow or your wry half-smile. Exercise more moderation and care in your sarcasm than you might for in-person encounters. Be cleverly sarcastic, and don’t just blatantly insult your reader.

Other types of humor also require a little care in translation. Whimsical humor can seem overly erratic and random … or just plain crazy. Black humor can seem serial-killer-ish. Puns, which may be adorably bad in person, can  be just plain old bad in text. And actual jokes? Well, besides the fact that a well-told joke is as much about timing and tone than the punchline, transcribing a joke into your profile or email doesn’t help to communication your own sense of humor.

How do you avoid these mistakes? There are simple measures to ensure that your humor is actually funny. First: give it time. Re-read your profile a day later and see if it still seems so hilarious. Re-read that email a few minutes later (before you send it!) to make sure it doesn’t sink like a lead balloon. Second, and even better, get someone else to read your witticisms before unleashing them on the Internet. The point here is perspective.  It’s very hard to have an objective view of your own humor in the heat of composition. Give it a few minutes, a day, or a second set of eyes. And if in doubt, skip it. Earnest communication is far, far better than failed humor.

So much for what not to do. Our advice for what to do is, unfortunately, less detailed. That’s because the best way to be successfully funny is to do exactly what we’ve been telling you to do all along (here and here for example). That is: find your writing voice, relax, quit over-analysing, and enjoy yourself. If you have a funny anecdote that communicates good things about youself, tell it! Laugh about your flaws and quirks. Be cocky about your good qualities. Let your natural sense of humor shine forth.  Have fun with it and you’ll come across as fun, and, hopefully, funny as well. Relax, but also re-read! Now that you’re aware of the dangers of BAD humor, good humor should emerge naturally.