A great sense of humor is a very attractive quality. It’s also one of the few qualities that is difficult to fake online. For this reason, if you can successfully communicate your sense of humor–if you can be genuinely funny–then we guarantee you will generate some serious interest. Your reader may wonder if your photo is fake or 10 years old, if you really are an NBL player and have a PhD in astroneurosemiotics. However if your profile and messages are funny, then he or she will know that, at the very least, you have a sense of humor.
The flip side of this is that you really do need to have a sense of humor. We can’t tell you how, and we can’t make you funny. Happily most people are capable of illiciting a laugh or two, at least now and then. We’re going to assume that you qualify as “most people”. However, even if you’re the class clown or the life of the party, you need to be a little careful when you try to translate this comic genius online. A lot of things that work in “real life” fail miserably, even disastrously, in text. We’re going to discuss the two main dangers in trying to be funny online: overdoing it, and poor translation.
Overdoing it: This is a very common error. If you try too hard to be funny then you’ll come across as… well, try-hard. You’ll also sound fake. There’s a fine line between “This person is funny!” and “This person thinks they’re funny.” Just remember, not every sentence in your profile needs to send your reader into hysterics. If you make your reader laugh a few times that’s great, but you also need to connect with this person on other levels. If they come away from your profile knowing that you are freakin’ hilarious, but absolutely nothing else about you, then maybe they’ll hire you for their kid’s birthday party, but don’t count on getting any action after.
Poor translation: some things just don’t work in text format. Without the benefit of the accompanying facial expressions, tonality, and timing, things that are hilarious when told live fall flat in text. Worse, they can be misinterpreted with fatal consequences.
The worst culprit is sarcasm. This form of humor is dangerous enough when backed up with the full force of your subtle comic presense, let alone as a string of ASCII characters. What may be intended as a playful jibe or flirtatious tease can come across as arrogant and insulting.
This is not to say that you should avoid sarcasm altogether. On the contrary: if you have a sarcastic sense of humor then by all means convey it, even at the risk of alienating those not clever (or thick-skinned) enough to handle your teases. There’s nothing wrong with a little filtering. However you still need to be careful. Understand that your reader can’t see your raised eyebrow or your wry half-smile. Exercise more moderation and care in your sarcasm than you might for in-person encounters. Be cleverly sarcastic, and don’t just blatantly insult your reader.
Other types of humor also require a little care in translation. Whimsical humor can seem overly erratic and random … or just plain crazy. Black humor can seem serial-killer-ish. Puns, which may be adorably bad in person, can be just plain old bad in text. And actual jokes? Well, besides the fact that a well-told joke is as much about timing and tone than the punchline, transcribing a joke into your profile or email doesn’t help to communication your own sense of humor.
How do you avoid these mistakes? There are simple measures to ensure that your humor is actually funny. First: give it time. Re-read your profile a day later and see if it still seems so hilarious. Re-read that email a few minutes later (before you send it!) to make sure it doesn’t sink like a lead balloon. Second, and even better, get someone else to read your witticisms before unleashing them on the Internet. The point here is perspective. It’s very hard to have an objective view of your own humor in the heat of composition. Give it a few minutes, a day, or a second set of eyes. And if in doubt, skip it. Earnest communication is far, far better than failed humor.
So much for what not to do. Our advice for what to do is, unfortunately, less detailed. That’s because the best way to be successfully funny is to do exactly what we’ve been telling you to do all along (here and here for example). That is: find your writing voice, relax, quit over-analysing, and enjoy yourself. If you have a funny anecdote that communicates good things about youself, tell it! Laugh about your flaws and quirks. Be cocky about your good qualities. Let your natural sense of humor shine forth. Have fun with it and you’ll come across as fun, and, hopefully, funny as well. Relax, but also re-read! Now that you’re aware of the dangers of BAD humor, good humor should emerge naturally.