OK, someone just clicked on your photo or tagline, and read the first couple of lines of the main section of your profile. This may be as far as they get. Like it or not, we all suffer from a little ADD these days – especially when we’re online. Unless the first lines intrigue and excite, a reader’s eyes will start to glaze over almost immediately. They will instinctively do the most fun thing: click “back” and move on the next profile.
It’s important to start with something that will pique your reader’s curiosity. We’re not talking about the great first line of a literary masterpiece here, but an opening that will make your reader think, “Hmmm.” So, set out with your best foot forward. Begin with high energy, intrigue, or humor. Start with authority! Most importantly, open with something that conveys your personality. You want to find opening lines that speak with your voice. Remember, the reader is here to learn about you. An opening that promises a window into your personality will, by definition, be unique and interesting, and will keep the reader reading.
How do you find the voice that will carry through the rest of the profile, convey your best self, and plant that spark of interest in your reader’s mind?
It’s easier than it sounds. First, try not to think about it too much! If you’re thinking too hard, then you’re not being your most natural self. At the same time,, the very first thing that comes to mind will probably be a little clichéd, and is probably the first thing that came to a lot of people’s minds. Instead, try this: scratch down the first several things that you think of. Brainstorming is a great way to get started. Sit back, relax, free your mind, and stop caring about the outcome of the exercise.
This is the real secret: invest nothing in each line. Just try stuff. Be amused. Pretend that you’re talking to your kid sister, buddy, or cat! Write to an imaginary (or real) hot young stud/babe who has a huge crush on you. Pretend to write to anyone but the potential love of your life. Before long, glimmers of brilliance will appear – or, at least, humor, uniqueness, and authenticity – in your lines. By relaxing and having fun with this process, the authentic voice will come shining through. Go ahead and write five to ten different openings. Include anything and everything that pops into your head.
Here’s an example of this exercise in action. I’ll start by brainstorming:
- “You’re probably asking yourself how a hottie like me ended up doing online dating. I could ask the same of you.”
- “Hey, you clicked on my profile. Wouldn’t it be weird if we ended up meeting?!”
- “Normally I don’t like to brag, but it’s kinda expected here, so let me cut loose and tell you all about how FRIGGIN’ AWESOME I am ”
- “Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way: I suck at ball sports, I love crappy action flicks, and I dance like a drunk chimpanzee.”
- “My mom made me do this.”
- “You’re a nice girl. You should probably turn back now.”
- “Let me come straight out and tell you what I’m looking for here… You’re charming, brilliant, kind, and honest. You’re the worlds best kisser, and like my cooking.”
Some of them are cheesy, some are too negative, and some are way too arrogant (for me, p’haps not for you). However, the act of writing them got my creative juices flowing. More important, it got me in touch with the *tone* that I want for the profile.
OK? How did that go? Get some good stuff?
Up until now, your mind has been pure, innocent, and fresh. It’s time to be corrupted. It’s time to learn what everyone else is doing. It doesn’t matter if your starting lines express your personality perfectly, and are 100% honest, if a reader has seen this opening in some form a hundred times before, then eyes will be glazing over by the third word. From their perspective, you are indistinguishable from the person who wrote the last profile, and the one before, and the one before that…
Put in some research time. Read the openings of at least 20 other profiles from people in your same sex and age group. This is the best way to really get a feel for what everyone else is doing. Now, don’t do those things!
This research may also uncover some gems – approaches that you didn’t think of in the initial brainstorming session. Don’t be afraid to steal ideas and approaches, but avoid plagiarizing.
At this point, there should be some opening lines with great potential, along with what to avoid. With those opening lines, you’ll also have found the voice of your profile. Whether it’s laid-back and conversational, emphatic and energetic, or even tongue-in-cheek and sarcastic, this voice will sound like you, and it will carry through the profile-writing exercise. The tone may (and probably should) change a little throughout the profile, but the first line sets the mood, and the right mood will convey your personality.
Now choose an opening that you like and get on with the rest of your profile.
Back to our example. Let’s go with conversational, friendly, playful and teasing. Number 2 has a tone I like, and it gets the reader thinking about us as a real person who they might end up meeting. Let’s play with it, flesh it out and add a little more teasing, which is definitely part of my personality:
“Hey, you clicked on my profile. Congrats! Wouldn’t it be weird if you ended up meeting me?! … OK, calm down. Don’t get too excited yet. I’m old fashioned, so let’s get to know each other a bit first. Here are a few things you REALLY need to know about me:”
OK, it’s playful, teasing, and emphatic. It should spark a lady’s curiosity. There’s my starting point. It might change later. For now, it serves a very important purpose: it captures the tone of the profile.